ragbag:

code words for the days of the year

way back in the 18-whatevers when sending a telegram cost a charwoman’s daily wages, some enterprising telegraph operator found a loophole in the telegraph pricing scheme. yo realised that telegraph senders charged per word rather than per character—thus transmitting “it is on” would cost the same as “raynor is maschalophilous.”

anywhoosies, the telegraph operator then went on to invent code words for common telegraphic phrases. morisco refers to “money no object.” crisp is short hand for “can you recommend to me a good female cook?” flank means “a fire is raging here. please send engine,” which is a convenient abbreviation because when a fire really rages, one hasn’t much extra time to waste on frivolous wording when telegraphing for an engine. the resulting book is a real gas. you can peruse it here.

but what really floats my tugboats is that this book offers a code word for EVERY SINGLE day of the year, including leap year. here are some highlights:

• today (june 9) is joker
• may 29 is merkin
• leap day (february 29) is fictitious
• january 20 is <ahem> jaculatory
• the day that i crawled out of my mother’s weeping womb is jester
• and you? what is the code word for your birthday? is it oddness, fiasco, or octogamy?

Audition! Oh could this be true!?